மழை

வானம் கொண்ட காதலால்,
நாணம் கொண்ட பூமிப்பெண்,
போர்த்திக்கொண்டாள் பச்சைப்பட்டாடை...

நினைவுகள்...

"தோட்டத்தில் பிடித்த பட்டாம்பூச்சிகள்,
தோழர்களுடன் உடைத்த பம்பரங்கள்,
திருட்டுத்தனமாய்க் கண்ட திரைப்படங்கள்,
திரும்பிப் பார்த்த கன்னியர்கள், ..."
என வளர்ந்த என்
எழுபது வயது தாத்தாவின்
கதைகளில் இல்லாத
"மதிப்பெண்கள்,
கூட பயில்பவரின் பொறாமைகள்,
பாட்டு, நடன போட்டா போட்டிகள்,
நேர்முக தேர்வுகள்"
கூறின
இலக்கற்ற தேடல்களில்
நான் தொலைத்துக் கொண்டிருக்கும்
கணக்கற்ற இன்பங்களின்
எண்ணிக்கை...

வாழ்க்கை, காதல், வெங்காயம்...

தேடலில் மிஞ்சுவது
கண்ணீரும் வெறுமையுமே...
மகிழ்ச்சிக்கு ஒரே வழி
முழுமையை ரசிப்பதே...

அருமை பெருமை

தனிமையின் வெறுமை
நிரம்பி வழிய என்னகம்...
சொன்னதுன் அருமை
நினைவெல்லாம் உன் முகம்...

A new leaf turned over??? Not exactly :)

Migrations from a comfort zone(or rather an accustomed zone) had been always been scary. But this one, from student life to corporate life is not as scary as i expected it to be!!!

All the events pertaining to this job - right from the interview to the first day induction saw a reluctant attendee in me being in a stew. My campus interview attendance would not have been actualized if it was not for Viji's motivation. And here i am, working with one of the prestigious IT companies in India.

I have to admit that till the third day of training, "Have i taken the correct decision???" feeling was strangulating my brain. Thank God, i have a wonderful, sweet set of people around me both at hostel and office.

My hostel friends - In spite of having studied in the same institution for two years, i did not strike rapport with these sweet people. They are very warm and friendly with a place for anyone who wishes to join them. After two of my "recluse" years, their company comes as a whiff of fresh air!!!  Being a group of eleven, we enjoy the travel to office every morning. Giggling for no reason, teasing each other, taking liberty, singing, acts of stealth during sessions - wow, i'm being a little of the mischievous and bubbly one i was during my UG days.

At office, its kind of a packed schedule always. But it is great to be with my energetic, fun loving colleagues. The batch in which i have been put in is a dynamic one. Learning and enjoyment take place in parallel. Though i don't participate too much in the fun part, it has a very good effect on my mind. A birthday celebration and a family day function at office saw an electrified M21(our batch id)!!! I don't know what i am technically learning in this training. But team spirit and personality development are inculcated implicitly. Happy to be a part of  this effervescent batch!!

A special mention about Sathya, fondly beckoned "thala", "tl" etc who, being in the same batch as me, bears my company and helps me out with so many day-to-day activities like crossing the wide road, boarding the correct bus etc.. We happened to have an interesting confrontation two years back at Anna University, Coimbatore during ME counselling. While 4 of us(me and my UG friends) were creating a mini fuss giggling there - This girl gave a terror look asking me for my name. I answered her and thought, "a padips maybe!!!" and had the same feeling every time i saw her at CEG. But now, i know that i was totally wrong!!! 

Till now, my life has always been populated with turns towards unexpected and unplanned paths. Thanks to all my dear friends who have been with me throughout this journey of twists and turns!!! Its you who add spice to life!!!

Curtains of M.E ring down...

       A recap of my two years at Chennai Anna University returns a medley of frames - happy ones, morose ones, awkward ones, funny ones. Whatever may be the adjective it bears, each frame carries with it a lesson which had metamorphosed me to a better individual.

        The first year @ CEG was the most difficult. New place, a superb(!!!) hostel-I with inmates being stacked like sardines, ever bustling adyar, 3 semesters which made me experience the meaning of the word "hectic", spacious room at hostel-II with only assignments and books for company - felt like a lost child. Too much for a small town creature who reserved studying to the nights before the exams.

        Our class had a great time in Dr.V.Umamaheshwari's "Security Principles" classes during semester-3. Needless to say, she is a phenomenal teacher. The list doesn't get closed with her alone!!! So, let me share about my favorite teachers in a post exclusively for them. Only a little can be said about my "involvement" in the three papers we had during that semester(courtesy:- malarial attack-3 :-/. I think i hold the record for the maximum number of long leaves in my class :P).  

         I must thank god for granting me a course, about which i didn't know anything before conversing with another student at the counselling hall. And this course let me work in a project which was "my kind" of stuff - poem, lyric and all. It was an alluring job for someone whose ears are glued to headphones almost always. Most of my nights went sleepless with me and my laptop going "LaaLaLaa"(tats my project title) :). Though it seemed like i was blindfolded in the beginning, god gave me the determination - "i have to get it done by myself - no matter what the result is going to be". All the reviews - right from the zeroth to the final viva of Phase-II, were disasters which left me stupefied. In-spite of the numerous "mokkais" received,  i harbor the satisfaction of having done something worthwhile. I had come a long way from that lass who struggled to understand the base paper to the one who had published two papers in international conferences( little proud about it :) ). I extend my profound sense of gratitude to my guide Dr.Madhan Karky for having been encouraging and  patient with my trivial questions. Thank you sir :)

         Coming to the other side of the coin, we enjoyed that trip to MGM and the final meet up @ Elliots beach. They were breaks from monotony which brought out the child in us  - made dormant forcibly at Anna University. And those funny moments i shared with Meena akka et al are unforgettable. Im surely going to miss those tea breaks, CPDE hall arattais, walks to the canteen during which "Ms.Shobana - The Great" was made the crux of our jokes, lunch with friends, long night walks with Athira chechi, santhome beach, Sai baba temple, privacy violations by Warden sister etc... I express my heartfelt appreciations to Athira chechi for having been a tolerant listener of my non-stop nonsense ;)... Above all, im going to miss that greatest feeling which is felt  only by sleeping stealthily during lectures... OMG, im not a student anymore :(...

தேவை

முகநக நட்டு
முதுகில் குத்தி
மூர்க்கமாய்த் தாக்கும்
வாழ்விற்கு தேவை
முகமுடிகள் பல...
அல்லது 
ஆமை போல்
கூடாவது...

எப்படி சொல்வது...

பெற்ற மதிப்பெண்ணும்,
பெறாத சம்பளமும்,
அழகற்ற உடைகளும்,
அணியாத அணிகலனும்
பாராமல்...
உணவிட்டு,
புரியாமொழி பேசி,
கொஞ்சமாய் கொஞ்சும்
என்னை...
எனக்காக விரும்பும் உன்னை...
என்னவென்று நான் சொல்ல...

நிரந்தர மகிழ்ச்சி

புதிதாய்ப் பிறந்த போது

தாயின் அரவணைப்பாய்த் தொடங்கி...

தெருவோர விளையாட்டுகளாய்

மூலைக்கடை குச்சி மிட்டாயாய்

தீபாவளி பட்டாசுகளாய்

வாங்கா அடிகளாய்

நண்பரின் அருகாமையாய்

கல்லூரி இளமைக் குறும்புகளாய்...

மாறி மாறி...

தற்போது,

ஜன்னலோர பண்பலைப் பயணமாய்

மகிழ்ச்சி...

தேவைகள் மாற

மகிழ்ச்சியும் முகமூடி மாட்டியது...

தேவைகள் இல்லாத தேவை

தீர்ந்தால் கிட்டுமோ...

நிரந்தர மகிழ்ச்சி???

Chaos theory for me, a dummy...

      Getting caught by a teacher for a haphazard act, a culturals stunt, a calamitous seminar... Seem like three disjoint events, with very low correlation coefficients, don't they??? These dis-articulate events during my UG are very much related besides the fact that i had a part to play in all of them!!!

     It was within first few weeks after we joined college that this happened. Myself, Mahesh and Viji filled our plates and settled on a table opposite to a person - for dinner. My friend just brushed aside a chilli which was already on the table. That wretched thing, to our astonishment, landed perfectly a few inches away from that person. She was giving us cold stares as we were blinking at each other. All the three of us were tensed that the "good manners" and "apology" parts of our brains were crippled. We thought, "Tonight we are going to be the scapegoats of this senior and her accomplices". We started to peck the food when another girl came and asked this person, "Akka, can i sit here" . This lady replied, "I am a lecturer, call me Mam". Even now, i remember the ludicrous reaction we gave!!! We took our plates, shifted to another table behind her and started giggling, unable to control ourselves. After this incident whenever she saw me at college, she would give a "terror look" for which my eyes would react automatically by going to the ground!!! 

        As fate would have it, she was our "Digital circuits mam" the very next semester. Sitting in the first bench, i was looking at the ground as usual, dumbfound, during the first hour. But as days passed, i started answering in her class and she stopped giving her very own "terror look". The next semester, she handled "Computer Architecture". 

     One day, she asked for a volunteer to handle seminar on "Assembler Directives". Meanwhile, i had developed a liking for this mam. So i obliged with enthusiasm. The seminar was to take place during 3rd hour. During 2nd hour class (which was a veeeeeeeeeeery boring one), we were playing passing letters as we would do almost everyday. It was at this time, my cerebrum came up with a splendid, fantabulous, superb (running short of adjectives!!! :p) idea of passing the questions which i am going to ask during 3rd hour with the answers, to my friends so that they answer instantaneously - to paint a good picture of our class to this mam (she was not that happy with our class at that time). I did as the intellect inside my skull ordered to do and also gave instructions to my friends during the break. 

      Break got over, Mam came to class, asked me to start. I went on stage sans any disinclination, started with the greeting and asked the first question, "So, what is, an assembler???". That alert creature, for whom this question was assigned was looking at me as if she had no connection to it, whatsoever. I looked at her for 2 or 3 seconds. Alas, no reaction!!! I had no other choice than to call her out by name and make her answer. I started explaining, and now, it was my turn to get alert. I decided to put forth the questions which i had prepared to intersperse my lecture with, calling out the names of specific individuals to whom the answers had already been given. I would not have asked 3 or 4 questions -  Mam started laughing and said, "Suriyah, I can understand what is going on. You have already given these girls the answers, right???". A sheepish grin was all that i could give her for an answer!!! But, it was one of the rare occasions that she smiled in our class. Thank God!!! She did not fire me for my indescribable,  intelligent act!!!

       The annual culturals, christened PEACE (Periyar Annual Cultural Events) would be the sole reason of soaring mercuries in our college. This happened during our final year, during which our department was under the pressure of acquiring the overall shield for a hatrick (which had never happened before). The "Periyar Maniammai College of Technology for Women", had become "Periyar Maniammai University" opening doors for menfolk too. One among the events was, "5 minute skit" -  a group event. A topic would be picked from the lot by each team - you discuss what to do for 2 minutes and actually execute your 2 minute plan for 5 minutes on stage. Almost all the departments had men (or boys!!!???) participating in the team. Ours was the only "only girls" team. Boys, we thought were always an edge over girls in creativity. 

       The first team, a "boys only" one, came to stage. We were sitting with our fingers losing the crowns of their nails. Started, their "awesome" display of creativity which made us relax and recuperate our confidence. Our team picked a chit and it read, "HANDLING SEMINAR IN CLASS". The word "SEMINAR" made me think of my previous astute behavior. For the first discussion minute, we decided that this can be acted on stage. For the second minute, we zeroed in on the cast:P Kani was the teacher, with myself(the culprit both on stage and in the actual event), Rukku, Beulah, Vidya, Siva being students. Though Kani caused a minor calamity in the beginning, we somehow managed to end it decently with a "message". We were given second prize for this event. Hurray!!! we did what the other departments haven't done, we completed a hatrick, made a landmark!!! 

      The title of this post, i think, is clearly explained by now!!! :P