Blabbers of a sleepless mind

Mostly, most of us would do anything for a good night's sleep. There are also days (rather nights) when your mind does everything but sleeping. Whether thoughts prevent sleep or lack of sleep makes mind stray for thoughts - a vicious circle perhaps 🙆. 

Thoughts that buzz inside at times like these are pretty spaced-out. What to cook day after tomorrow, why was I so stupid when young, how do we handle a pandemic, will technology enable us live in space, why are we so absorbed in our own egos when death is imminent; from something with microscopic significance to stuff disproportionately colossal to my teeny tiny mind - my sleepless nights have seen them all. 

These kind of nights get longer when we miss something/someone. Green thoughts like my "stupid" college days or the heavier feeling of missing someone who is no more, yearning etc entail sleeplessness. Feeling the irrecoverable dent left by a deceased person and to come in terms with the loss is very painful, to say the least. Contact saved in the mobile, photos of happier times, events that evoked laughter and warmth once, evoke totally opposite emotions now. Gosh, life is mysterious. 

Coming back to sleeplessness - it may be caused due to caffeine consumption in the evenings, overeating, stress etc. I bumped into some methods over the internet to better our sleeping cycle. Documenting it, just in case anyone needs it. 

No caffeine post 6 pm. 

Keep the room cool. 

Drop gadgets one hour before you plan to sleep. 

Have dinner minimum 2 hours before.

The above-mentioned points are helpful, but if you still have trouble, try doing the following. 

Observe your inhalation and exhalation. During the following cycles, tell the italicized phrases in your mind. 

INHALATION : I am not this body

EXHALATION : I am not this mind 

This method was recommended by Mr. Jaggi Vasudev in one of his videos (could not get the link now). Not that I endorse him, but this method sure worked for me. 

So, good night! 

When we turned mid-wives!

Reading some of my first blog posts makes me wonder how do i forget these? However hard i try, i cannot recall the situations or my thinking design when i penned them down. Makes me kind of feel that the person who had written it isn't (or is no longer) me! 

I wanted to archive this incident; it is very interesting and emotional that i do not want to forget it at all. Even if i do, i have this post to remind me!

This happened in the beginning of April'19. I fed my toddler lunch and just put her to sleep for afternoon siesta. My mother in law said, "See, a cow has given birth in front of the entrance!". Having not seen any natural birth in person, I was curious. When i went out, the mother had given birth, the calf was partially en-caul and the hind was still inside the mother. 

The three of us - myself, my mother in law and sister in law were clueless as to how to help the mother and offspring. We frantically googled for vets nearby and could not reach any. The calf was breathing inside the sac; it was alarming to see its breathing pattern change (or so I thought). But we were not sure of helping the calf by peeling the membrane off its face since its hind was still inside ("Maybe the mother thinks we are harming her child and gives us a kick on face!" was my thought). However, by God's grace the calf was expelled fully from the mother after some time. 

Now, my sister in law diverted the mother by offering her water in a bucket. The calf was lying on the ground, motionless. I do not understand what got into me, I bent down and peeled the membrane off the calf's face chanting God's name. I could feel blood rush into my head, hands shivering, heart pounding in its full speed etc. It was a micro-palpitation. That was "real" adrenaline rush I must say. The calf mooed "maaa" - it was the most re-assuring, soothing sound next to my daughter's first wail. The mother licked the calf clean and to our astonishment, ate the membrane fully. The calf struggled,got up and started staggering around a car. The new mother, who was still bleeding and seemed weak, was spared any rest; she started following her little one in his stagger. Motherhood, the force which makes lives go round in cycles - it strengthens and weakens too; affects a mother in conflicting ways. We offered the mother some brinjals, broad beans and pearl millet (கம்பு | kambu in Tamil). The calf tried to start feeding but could not latch properly. Later, the person raising the cow came, tied the calf to a bicycle carrier and made the cow walk to their place. 

The feeling of having helped a tender life and the one who nurtured it inside her - it was divine to say the least. Words fall short to express that emotion. We too felt motherly towards the calf. How would doctors feel each time they save a life! Isn't their's a blessed profession! To save lives! To alleviate pain! That would be the most sacred and divine feeling!

The new life which came out, the one which held it inside her, our intention to help them - these i felt, are God! World would be a better place if we all try to see ourselves at least, if not God, in everyone around us!

Ending this post with a gif of the mother and the baby in their cuddly moments; excuse the shaky visual, the video was shot by kids, human kids i mean!

A new leaf turned over??? Not exactly :)

Migrations from a comfort zone(or rather an accustomed zone) had been always been scary. But this one, from student life to corporate life is not as scary as i expected it to be!!!

All the events pertaining to this job - right from the interview to the first day induction saw a reluctant attendee in me being in a stew. My campus interview attendance would not have been actualized if it was not for Viji's motivation. And here i am, working with one of the prestigious IT companies in India.

I have to admit that till the third day of training, "Have i taken the correct decision???" feeling was strangulating my brain. Thank God, i have a wonderful, sweet set of people around me both at hostel and office.

My hostel friends - In spite of having studied in the same institution for two years, i did not strike rapport with these sweet people. They are very warm and friendly with a place for anyone who wishes to join them. After two of my "recluse" years, their company comes as a whiff of fresh air!!!  Being a group of eleven, we enjoy the travel to office every morning. Giggling for no reason, teasing each other, taking liberty, singing, acts of stealth during sessions - wow, i'm being a little of the mischievous and bubbly one i was during my UG days.

At office, its kind of a packed schedule always. But it is great to be with my energetic, fun loving colleagues. The batch in which i have been put in is a dynamic one. Learning and enjoyment take place in parallel. Though i don't participate too much in the fun part, it has a very good effect on my mind. A birthday celebration and a family day function at office saw an electrified M21(our batch id)!!! I don't know what i am technically learning in this training. But team spirit and personality development are inculcated implicitly. Happy to be a part of  this effervescent batch!!

A special mention about Sathya, fondly beckoned "thala", "tl" etc who, being in the same batch as me, bears my company and helps me out with so many day-to-day activities like crossing the wide road, boarding the correct bus etc.. We happened to have an interesting confrontation two years back at Anna University, Coimbatore during ME counselling. While 4 of us(me and my UG friends) were creating a mini fuss giggling there - This girl gave a terror look asking me for my name. I answered her and thought, "a padips maybe!!!" and had the same feeling every time i saw her at CEG. But now, i know that i was totally wrong!!! 

Till now, my life has always been populated with turns towards unexpected and unplanned paths. Thanks to all my dear friends who have been with me throughout this journey of twists and turns!!! Its you who add spice to life!!!