Random thoughts - Who am I?

Hi all :) 

Disclaimer : This post is very abstract; not intended to make you feel sleepy, bored or leave you feeling "meh". If so, heartfelt apologies ;)

Let me ask you to name something that you feel is your identity, something that defines you as a person. Different answers - "thoughtful", "teacher", "optimist", "independent", "funny", "leader", "beautiful" etc are possible. The answers depend on what a person feels about oneself, what is that striking characteristic in him / her that overpowers the rest. 

Do you hold on to that trait all the time?

Mostly no.

Then, is that your identity? Does that define you?

What if you get rid of that trait?

Will you not survive? 

Sure you will. 

Then, is that your identity? Does that define you?

Before you tag this post philosophical or spiritual, let me clarify that am trying to figure this out at a very worldly level. Say for instance, a very fun loving person cracking up jokes all the time decides not to be funny all of a sudden. She / He will surely live. Whether not being funny affects the person at an emotional level? Sure yes, but that will dissipate as time flies. I had always felt that having a professional front, being a teacher especially is my identity. But situations needed me to quit work. I was too apprehensive and was brooding over it for more than a year. Got immense clarity of what is to be done in a magical two weeks and with that, i submitted my resignation. I still live and happily too (though i miss the reciprocation from students and small talks with peers). 

Nothing in this world "defines" a person. The traits we possess are those which we acquire over time to adapt to the situations we face. Situations change, so do our 'traits'. So to repeatedly stress over the absence of something in you, is not necessary. And it is not that you cannot be _____ at all. An eminent psychiatrist says that any particular characteristic of a person can be changed, it is just a matter of the person's willingness, time and environment. 

Never stress over that which you are not. Just walk towards it and you become that one day, eventually.

Random thoughts - The No.1 mania

Off late i feel I am not blogging, at all. So planned to blog my views on random issues now and then under the heading "Random thoughts". Hopefully i blog regularly.

These days i see many parents thrusting into their children, the intention that their kid is number 1 or first rank in whatever they do. Honestly, any parent would have this thought process but these days it is getting maniacal.

Cute little kids painted with heavy make up hold the microphone and render or gyrate to appropriate or inappropriate songs. There were instances of the kids getting beaten for the so called under-performance. Do we really need to kill the innocence of kids? Introducing kids to some form of defeat is actually good but it is unfair to burden them with the pressure to win.

With a truckload of books on the back, kids set out to school along with the load of being THE best, that is first rank at school. Not to forget the constant nudging to be good in drawing, music, sports, karate etc alongside academics. If the kid fumbles as any normal kid would, she / he is scolded, ridiculed or even beaten. Is it fair?

Parents who strive for the so called excellence of kids in almost everything under the sun, do you have any idea of the pain the kid experiences? Or the psychological effects of the "No1" mania? The kid may develop low self esteem which is very detrimental.  Result, the kid may become an introvert, very self centred or rebel by not doing anything expected of  her/him.

On a longer run, the kid may feel that anyone who is anything lesser than no.1 is inferior. This thought is one of the root causes of almost all societal problems. The constant pressure to be number one in one's career track, to be the dominant person in a relationship or to be the most influential person in the family etc kind of makes people to try getting there by fair or unfair means. Not many will understand that attaining the goal may make one happy;  but the path taken in the journey towards that goal defines that individual. It builds the person one is .

The point is, let us not pressure our children to be no.1 in whatever we want. Let them be children and enjoy their childhood and innocence. Let us value people for the persons they are instead of the no.1 tags they hold , their financial or societal status. Let young minds be instilled that being fair and just is to be valued more than being a dominant one in something. After all, the journey holds more happiness and experiences than does the destination.