Random thoughts - The No.1 mania

Off late i feel I am not blogging, at all. So planned to blog my views on random issues now and then under the heading "Random thoughts". Hopefully i blog regularly.

These days i see many parents thrusting into their children, the intention that their kid is number 1 or first rank in whatever they do. Honestly, any parent would have this thought process but these days it is getting maniacal.

Cute little kids painted with heavy make up hold the microphone and render or gyrate to appropriate or inappropriate songs. There were instances of the kids getting beaten for the so called under-performance. Do we really need to kill the innocence of kids? Introducing kids to some form of defeat is actually good but it is unfair to burden them with the pressure to win.

With a truckload of books on the back, kids set out to school along with the load of being THE best, that is first rank at school. Not to forget the constant nudging to be good in drawing, music, sports, karate etc alongside academics. If the kid fumbles as any normal kid would, she / he is scolded, ridiculed or even beaten. Is it fair?

Parents who strive for the so called excellence of kids in almost everything under the sun, do you have any idea of the pain the kid experiences? Or the psychological effects of the "No1" mania? The kid may develop low self esteem which is very detrimental.  Result, the kid may become an introvert, very self centred or rebel by not doing anything expected of  her/him.

On a longer run, the kid may feel that anyone who is anything lesser than no.1 is inferior. This thought is one of the root causes of almost all societal problems. The constant pressure to be number one in one's career track, to be the dominant person in a relationship or to be the most influential person in the family etc kind of makes people to try getting there by fair or unfair means. Not many will understand that attaining the goal may make one happy;  but the path taken in the journey towards that goal defines that individual. It builds the person one is .

The point is, let us not pressure our children to be no.1 in whatever we want. Let them be children and enjoy their childhood and innocence. Let us value people for the persons they are instead of the no.1 tags they hold , their financial or societal status. Let young minds be instilled that being fair and just is to be valued more than being a dominant one in something. After all, the journey holds more happiness and experiences than does the destination.

On of the woes of a modern mother

Stumbled upon this picture on my Facebook feed. That triggered an array of deep thoughts to the extent that I wanted to share them on my blog which has stayed dormant for quite a while.

Image Source: https://www.facebook.com/brightside/

My instantaneous reaction to this picture was, "Seems like an offer too good to ignore. I would go for the cash". The other offers did not seem attractive at all. Wait, I am not a person driven by money. I feel that the money hard earned by one's sweat and blood is the most valuable. But still, why was that my choice? Just because if I pick those 'n' million dollars I would not have to work, can be with my baby throughout the day and run the house in a better manner.

My choice would have been different had I been asked the same question during my college days or even after marriage. How times change!!! Becoming a mother makes one very much vulnerable emotionally; that fear which strikes when learning about some unfortunate thing that had happened to some child, worrying if the amount of food fed to the child is sufficient, doubting oneself if she is doing things right for the kid etc (list doesn't end :-P). Worse still if the mother is a working mother. Leaving for work when a puny little human is crying her / his lungs out; it is like the mother killing a part of herself which desperately wants to be with the child and leaving the house which may make her depressed as well. 

The list of challenges a working woman faces - physical and emotional, is quite long in a society like ours. There is a big sea of judgments which she has to swim through.  Many people make themselves free to pass multiple verdicts on her like ,"she runs to workplace because it is a rosy bed", "she is lazy to take care of the kid and that's why she runs for work", "she's very money minded", "she cooks for namesake; her cooking skills are pathetic compared to mine" etc. And ironically, most of these kind of judgments are made by fellow females only. May be for just killing time, they make a person a scapegoat and pass judgments or some other deep psychological reason exists, God knows what.

If the mother is a stay at home mother also, she gets judged. She is judged for not shouldering the financial responsibilities of the family. She is judged for having wasted a degree which another deserving candidate would have pursued. She is judged for not running the house in the most efficient manner despite being a stay at home mother.  

Now, none of the workplaces these days is a rosy bed. NO. There is heavy workload, there are difficult situations to be dealt with very carefully and also politics. Neither is being a stay at home mom easy. The woman is under a great pressure to run the house with superlative efficiency, make the kids behave perfectly etc. Any one minor deviation, everyone retorts, "Can't she do this, she just stays at home na".

We find it very easy to judge others; you know why? It is just because we don't live their lives. We don't face the battles they face - with fellow humans, with the society or even within themselves. If we see a person facing a difficult phase in life, the best to do is not to judge them. Next we can offer to help if only we genuinely don't judge. 

Now next time you roll your sleeves to judge a working woman - stop. She may be having financial issues, she may feel that her work is her identity or she may work because she feel that it completes her. Then the stay at home mother - she is at home because she wants to be with her baby or simply she wants to. 

So, stop judging others' life. Start living yours :-)